The Longest Time
by Mondie
Summary: [NOW FINISHED!] [blush for b’s birthdayblink week! broadway, lavender suits, and dancing!boys. yay!]
1. lavender suits him

[the longest time]

[by mondie]

[written: july 14, 2004]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY B!! :D

[chapter one: lavender suits him]

[chapter written: july 14, 2004]

[summary: blush for b's birthday/blink week! broadway, lavender suits, and dancing!boys. yay!]

[disclaimer: _newsies_ = disney's. damn.]

)(

                        The audition had gone extremely well so far.

                        I recognized nearly every other boy still remaining in the group, which had been cut to twenty so far. In fact, I knew most of the other performers' strengths and weaknesses, and knew that they knew the same of me. I had been in at least one dance class with almost every boy still in the group.

                        I could beat out Ross, known as Snipeshooter (sarcastically nicknamed, since he _never_ hit his target and always ended up far on the wrong side of the stage, and had probably only made it this far in the audition because of the prestigious dance school he had attended, and the benefit of the doubt on behalf of the director), and I also knew that the dull-witted Jake Emerson would never make it past the next tap combination. I felt no competition whatsoever from Sean "Spot" Conlon (nicknamed regarding his small size, and the fact that his jazz dancing was so perfect that he could land on an itsy-bitsy spot placed on the floor time after time, without breaking a sweat or even appearing to concentrate upon the task), who was excellent at making it look like he knew what he was doing when he had no idea, but who would never be able to fake the ballet portion. Samuel, or Boots (softshoe champion of Denton School of Dance), had a cold, and was slightly younger than the director was looking for, anyway. There were two boys that I had never seen on the circuit before, named Jack and David, who aroused my suspicions. Jack was actually quite good, and seemed to know it, too. What David was lacking in talent, he made up for with enthusiasm; that being said, he had also been forced to drag his kid brother, Les, to the audition, and this had caused much anger on behalf of Joseph, the producer, and Will, the stingy director. Joseph Litzer and Will Earst had a strangely close relationship, with Joseph producing everything that Will directed. The two were quite successful in their joined endeavors, and while it was nowhere near usual for the producer to come to something as meager as beginning auditions, Joseph always came to every stage of the production for one of Will's shows.

                        _Every_ stage, if you catch my drift.

                        I looked around at the other boys, stretching and chatting blithely at random spots upon the stage, while I took a swig of water during our five-minute water break. There was some incredible talent here, like Scott "Dutchy" Carlins (inventor of the Dutch Clop Swing, and who could now imagine a dancing show without _that_ move? I had heard they were even performing it in dance recitals in _Ohio_), and Billy "Bumlets" Lark (owner of the most precise movements I had ever seen - as well as the best ass). The presence of so many of the most talented dancers I'd ever encountered was a bit unnerving. I needed this job. I _needed_ it.

                        "That's it, enough of a break! Back on your feet!" Will called, clapping his hands impatiently. We sprang up from our reclining positions and slipped back into our line across the stage's front lip.

                        Twenty minutes later, the tap combination had been sorted out, and Jake, Boots, and Snipeshooter had been cut, just as I had guessed. David had also been cut, and Jack had run out of the front line to give his parting boyfriend a sweet little consolation kiss, and had been cut as well for leaving the line without asking permission. This had caused much smirking amongst the Denton School of Dance graduates, of which all of us who remained were alumni. The strangers had been cut, and now everyone had a much clearer picture of what they were up against, and had a pretty good idea of where his chances fell in comparison to everyone else.

                        I was feeling confident, considering the talent around me.

                        "As you know," Will was yelling, and I snapped back to attention. "The hottest young star of Broadway, and a graduate of Denton's, just like the rest of you, is going to be under the spotlight of _this_ show." He smiled. "He came to see how the auditions are coming along, and to help me decide upon the members of his chorus."

                        My heart hammered in my chest. If there was one thing I owned, it was a large obsession with Micah "Mush" Meyers, who had won fame as Angel in _Rent_, and maintained his poise and beauty to become the newest Broadway staple.

                        Mush was _really_ the reason why I needed this job. Having broken up with my last boyfriend months ago, I needed some good eye candy.

                        There was a moment of silence as every boy present stopped breathing, and none of us started again until, with a click of beautiful, soft, dark leather driving slippers, the presence of Mush Meyers was announced. He was a vision in a beautiful lavender suit, which looked quite expensive. His curls fell about his forehead in the most adorable way I had ever seen. Sure that my jaw was on the ground, I hastily tried to look away before I had a nervous collapse.

                        "Hi, boys," Mush said, in a very cute, very gay voice. He pressed his white, lavender-polka-dotted ascot smooth against his chest.

                        "Hi," came a collective breathy reply from the group. Although all of us except one (Spot) are gay, even just the presence of such an idol would have resulted in the speechlessness of everyone, and the fact that Mush was so attractive was merely an added bonus.

                        "So, I hope you all remember the last tap combination, because we're going to do it again. Mush is going to walk around looking at all of you; just pretend like he's not there. Got it? Good." Will pointed at the piano player, who began chunking out the same little ditty that had been playing all afternoon, and I immediately launched into the routine, simultaneous with most of the other boys. Elijah, or Skittery (named for his exquisite tapping; he was so fast that it seemed like he was just nervous and suffering from shakes, because nobody could understand how anyone could _make_ his own limbs move so quickly), was in such awe at seeing Mush that he missed the cue. I felt myself biting the inside of my cheek to keep from cheering aloud. Skittery was one that I had been worried about. It did not seem like Skitts would be much of a challenge anymore.

                        Mush was winding himself around the stage, checking out the dancing boys' physiques as much as their styles of dancing. He stopped next to me, and I felt my face redden, but kept my grin forced on my face, and coerced my limbs into continuing the dance flawlessly. I heard Mush murmur, "Gorgeous," before he moved on. From that point on, the grin on my face was anything but forced.

                        The song ended, and we boys all stopped and stood still again, trying to ignore the fact that our idol was still roaming about, now blatantly checking out our asses.

                        The sound of Will's voice rose from his spot in the chairs before the stage. "Sean Conlon and Elijah Markward, thank you for coming out."

                        Spot cursed loudly, and stomped toward the exit, flipping Will off in the process. Skittery just looked stunned. I was sure that Skitts had _never_ been cut from anything after the _tap_ part.

                        Marcus, or Snitch, Skittery's boyfriend, and nicknamed for being able to copy any dance combo thrown at him with perfect ease the first time, and therefore snitching away other boys' roles from them, stepped out of line angrily. "You can't cut Elijah!" he protested. "He's the best tapdancer in the state, maybe even the country!"

                        "Cut it, Marc," Skittery interjected dully. "I'm not worth it."

                        "He missed the cue," Will answered patiently. "We can't have dancers who miss their cues."

                        Snitch was positively shaking. "You can't do it! He's better than your stupid show, anyway!" He shook his head in anger. "C'mon, Elijah. We're leaving."

                        "Goodbye, Marcus, we'll miss you," said Joseph sarcastically.

                        My head was positively jumping with joy. Skittery and Snitch, both gone? It was like Christmas had come three months early. I had never thought that I would be able to _dream_ for a present such as this.

                        In the excitement, I had nearly forgotten that Mush was still wandering about the stage haphazardly, until I heard a soft, delicate voice in my ear. "Step forward."

                        "What?" I asked, scandalized at first, thinking it was one of the boys hoping that I would get cut, too, for doing something out of order.

                        Then I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder, and looked over to see Mush smiling, mere inches from my face. "Step forward."

                        I stepped.

                        "Micah? What's this?" asked Will, leaning forward in his chair to shuffle through the resumes on his table, trying to figure out my name. "Trey, is it?"

                        "Yes, sir," I answered, clearing my throat nervously.

                        Mush smiled sweetly. "I want Trey in the show."

                        "But, Micah, we haven't even seen all of his dancing."

                        Mush pouted. "He was the best tapper in the bunch, besides that Elijah kid, who was just cut." He laughed. "Besides, he's from Denton's school, isn't he?"

                        "We all are," piped up Specs from the other end of the line.

                        Mush ignored him. "Well, Trey?" I looked at him, and could scarcely catch my breath, due to his intense beauty. "Can you dance ballet?"

                        I went into an impromptu recital, making sure to show off just how high I could stretch my legs and my intensely amazing _tour jet_s.

                        "Beautiful," Mush said in delight. "And jazz?" I complied. "Copy this." He went into another tap routine, his slippers clicking delicately across the wooden floor. I watched him, and as he started it over again, joined in flawlessly. I couldn't have stopped grinning if it were required. Here I was, dancing with my idol seamlessly, step by step in perfect synchronization.

                        Mush beamed when the routine was over again. "He's very talented," he said to the producer and director. "Not to mention quite attractive. I want him in the show." He winked at me. "I'm a sucker for blonds."

                        "If it's what _you_ want, Micah, then it's done," Joseph announced, in a drawling, annoyed voice. "Trey, you're in the line."

                        "Oh, no," Mush broke in. "Not in the line."

                        There was a pause from both Will and Joseph. Then Will asked, "What do you mean?"

                        "I mean that I want him in my _cast_. He's too good for the line." Mush struck a pose, showing off his incredible physique. "We haven't cast the role of the girl's brother yet. I want it to be him."

                        "We were going to offer that role to Jai Rodriguez!" Will erupted, sounding scandalized.

                        Mush shrugged. "You don't want me in the show, fine. But either Trey gets the part, or I'm gone from your little production."

                        If my jaw was on the floor upon seeing Mush for the first time, it was now through the floor and resting on the theatre's foundation. Why was Mush doing this for me?

                        "Fine, fine," Joseph said quickly, evidently more worried about losing his star then offering the role to a worthier candidate than myself. "Trey has the role of Todd in the show."

                        "Good!" Mush said happily. He ran to the front of the stage and bent down and whispered the rest of his recommendations to the men. "Now, I'm leaving," he announced.

                        "But... the ballet portion..." Will began feebly.

                        Mush waved them off. "I'm sure you boys are big enough to figure it out by yourself." He grinned and held out his arm to me. "Trey, we're going for coffee. Grab your bag."

                        Taking his arm, I grabbed my duffel on the way out the stage door.

                        Shocked? Why, yes, I was.

[if you said goodbye to me tonight  
there would still be music left to write  
what else could i do?  
i'm so inspired by you  
that hasn't happened for the longest time]

[billy joel]


	2. cherry and coffee

[chapter two: cherry and coffee]

[chapter written: july 18, 2004]

                        The smell of rain weighed heavily in the air, and a gray overcast shadowed the pair of us as we exited the theatre. I had pulled on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt over my audition Lycra, and felt quite underdressed next to Mush. He escorted me to a waiting taxicab, and gave the cabbie directions.

                        The drive was in silence. I wondered if he wanted me to start the conversation, but I was still in complete shock and awe. So while he varied his activity from scrutinizing me to looking out the window at the matte-finished buildings, I picked at a hangnail that had mysteriously shown up on my thumb and internally wished I was witty, that I was clever and easygoing and loud and ready to party.

                        When we got to the coffee shop that Mush apparently liked, he moved to pay the cab driver. I caught his arm and smiled. "Let me get it," I said, and was rewarded by a full-fledged grin.

                        "We'll split it," he answered. And so we did. The cab driver appeared to think us somewhat crazy, but we just exited the taxi and headed inside the small shop.

                        Tourists were shoved every which way inside, but since Mush was only a celebrity among the theatre elite, nobody noticed our entrance, or did a double take as we climbed over them to get to a small, empty table shoved in a corner.

                        "I love this place," Mush said when we were finally seated, and a waitress was trying to wind her way over to us over "I Love New York" shopping bags and the like, which littered the floor. "Do you want me to order for you?"

                        I shook my head as politely as I could. "I'm really picky," I answered, feeling like a complete asshole. "But thank you for your offer."

                        He turned on that piercing gaze again, then shook his head with a sweet little smile. "You're exactly how I remembered you. Refusing any help, but in the nicest, sweetest way possible."

                        "Exactly how you remember me?" I said in wonder. Before I could question this proclamation any further, the waitress tripped over her last obstacle and arrived at our little table. Mush took his time ordering, but I zipped through my order of a lemon poppy seed muffin and a small cherry Italian soda. As soon as she turned to vault back to the counter, I repeated the phrase that had made me wonder.

                        "Well, you wouldn't really remember me... you were in my younger brother's dance class. I came and watched a couple of his classes, and you... well, you kinda caught my eye. It's really your hair," he said lightly, reaching out a hand to touch my golden strands. I tried to duck away from his fingers slightly, due to the fact that my hair was soaked with sweat, but he didn't seem to care. "When I saw you today, I knew who you were right away. And you've grown into a much better dancer in just a few short years, if you don't mind my saying so."

                        "Don't mind you saying so? You're my fucking _idol_, Micah."

                        "Mush, please," he answered. "You know as well as I do that any nickname given to you at Denton's is a rite of passage. What's yours, Trey?"

                        I laughed. "Kid Blink," I answered, smiling with nostalgia. "A couple years ago, Bumlets - he's at the audition and incredible, I'm sure he'll make the line - was trying to create some new dance move and my face kinda got in the way of his foot. I had to wear an eye patch for weeks." Mush smiled at the story. I shifted in my seat and pulled out my pack of cigarettes from my back pocket. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

                        He made a face. "Actually, my favorite uncle just died from lung cancer."

                        "I'm sorry to hear that." And, though the table next to us was smoking enthusiastically and making me long for a cigarette of my own, I put my pack right back where it came from without removing even one.

                        He cocked his head to the side and smiled adorably. "Thanks," he said softly. He delicately, but quite deliberately, laid his hand on top of mine. Grinning a bit bashfully back at him, I turned my hand over and smoothed my fingers into the grooves between his. His other hand was smoothing the folds in his ascot subconsciously, and he licked his lips lightly. I squirmed in my chair automatically.

                        "You know," I said loudly, partly to distract my body, "lavender really is your color."

                        I was instantly rewarded by a large wink. "Probably one third of my wardrobe is lavender or pink," he responded. "I fully enjoy the fact that I'm allowed to wear whatever the hell I want to. It's one of the perks of being gay."

                        "It also makes finding outfits to wear to dance auditions easy," I agreed. "Spot has a hard time finding anything to wear that he doesn't deem, in his almighty way, of being 'too gay.' And by that, I mean anything tight, Spandex or Lycra, or bright-colored."

                        "Oh, then he was that scrawny boy with the dark clothing?"

                        "Yeah. Sean Conlon. The only boy left at the audition when you got there that was straight."

                        Mush giggled. "Ooh, then that will make flirting with the chorus line fun."

                        This dampened my spirit slightly, understandably, and I consoled myself by looking at the way our hands were entwined. It cheered me up a little. As if sensing my already growing attachment to him, he gave my fingers a little squeeze. "I have a feeling that you're going to be cutting my flirting short," he said in the nonchalant way he seemed to have patented. I didn't understand how he could be so offhand about the things that made my very heart start to pound.

                        I could see our waitress trying to make her way back over to us, with much difficulty. "What do you mean?" I asked, trying to sound as unconcerned as he was, and only succeeding in squeaking and sounding like a twelve-year old.

                        He gave a little snort of laughter. "If you don't know what I mean, then my gaydar must be _way_ off."

                        "No, I meant... well, what would you see in me?" I now wanted to climb under the table and never come out again. My face was burning, and I was watching the waitress tripping over a tourist's backpack with more interest than I ever spent doing anything in my life.

                        Mush was studying my face again. "Well, I was getting the vibe that you were interested. Was I wrong?" I looked over, and he was frowning slightly, his eyes unreadable.

                        And I was feeling like the biggest asshole in the world.

                        Trying to reassure him with my smile, I leaned over and kissed his cheek, then whispered in his ear, "Not even slightly wrong."

                        His grin was restored, and neither of us noticed our waitress's return until she loudly plunked our drinks and snacks onto the table. "Need anything else?" she asked politely, but it was quite obvious that she hoped the answer was no, so that she wouldn't have to attempt to cross the room again for a spell. We shook our heads no, and she grinned whole-heartedly at us. "By the way," she said, as she turned to face the obstacle course again, "you two are completely the cutest couple I've seen in here in a long time."

                        "Well, she just increased her tip by about thirty percent," Mush giggled. "Cheers?" He held up his latte.

                        "Cheers," I answered, holding up my own glass. For a minute, we both drank from our drinks, our hands still clasped together on the paisley tablecloth.

                        "That's some good coffee," Mush said when he'd finished his first long swig. "Wanna try some?"

                        I made a face, reminiscent of his when I'd asked about smoking. "I don't like the taste of coffee, actually."

                        "What a pity," he clucked, shaking his head as if I'd committed a deadly sin. "You didn't have _that_ on your resume, Kid Blink. I might not have called you in for this interview, had I known that."

                        "Interview?" I asked, with raised eyebrows. "Well, then sir, what could I tell you to ensure my future at this company?"

                        He laughed loudly. "You could offer me a taste of your soda, even if you don't want any of my own drink."

                        I held it up for him. He drank deeply, keeping his eyes on mine the whole time as I held the glass steady for him. Licking his lips when he finished, he said, "Delicious," in a much huskier voice than before.

                        I laid the glass down next to his latte, and leaned toward him. Our first kiss was long, intense, and quite possibly the most perfect kiss I've had in my life. Mush tasted sweet, his mouth a treasure trove of cherry and coffee. For the first time ever, I didn't mind the bitter taste of the coffee when my tongue tasted it.

                        The ice in my soda had long melted, and Mush's latte had gone cold, before the soul-filling kiss ended. When finally our lips parted, we just stared at each other for an intense moment. My lips were desperate to taste him again, but I didn't want to be the first to move back in.

                        "Wow," Mush said. I could only nod. He stood up and grabbed the check from the table, not letting me see it. "You coming?"

                        Dumbly confounded, I stood too. "Where are we going?"

                        He delicately laid a twenty-dollar bill on the table for the girl's tip. "My place. You game?"

                        I held out my hand, and he wordlessly clasped it.

                        "If the tip was twenty dollars, how much money was your damn latte?" I joked, when my senses finally caught up to me, halfway to the register.

                        He laughed. "I just wanted to thank her for calling us a couple." He pulled my torso close to him, and laid a delicately soft kiss on my lips. "Because your not freaking out about that made you seem even more perfect in my eyes."

                        I tugged him forward toward the cash register, tripping over a redhead whose chair was in the middle of the aisle. Once we got into the clear area directly surrounding the register, I kissed him again, our hands still clasped together, my other hand massaging and exploring the sculpted muscles of his back. Then I traced his arm with my fingertips, down to his hand, where I grabbed the check. Turning to the cash register triumphantly, I paid for our drinks, which we didn't drink, and our muffins, still untouched on their plates. Then I handed the manager who was working the register a ten. "Give this to our waitress in addition to the tip already on the table, please," I said.

                        "Ooh, big spender," Mush teased, as we strode from the café.

                        Back outside, the gray day had been overtaken by sunshine, and we moved out of the way of the tourists roaming the sidewalks, into a small, sunny corner. Mush, smiling, kissed me again. I kept my eyes open this time, learning every pore in his face, enjoying the way the sun sparkled on his long, perfect eyelashes. He felt my eyes on him and opened his too, creating an atmosphere of intoxicating passion.

                        When the delicious kiss ended, he ran his hands over my ass, up and down my muscled sides. "You know," he said softly, "no one has ever looked at me the way you do."

                        I kissed his eyelids, enjoying the way his eyes fluttered close as I drew nearer. "I'll always look at you this way," I whispered. "As long as you let me."

                        Both of his hands caught mine, and he leaned forward until his forehead touched mine, our eyes breathtakingly close, our noses touching. "My place."

                        "Your place," I agreed. Laughing again, we ran out into the current of tourists flooding the sidewalk, and he hailed a taxi.

                        And I could not believe this was happening to me.

[once i thought my innocence was gone  
now i know that happiness goes on  
that's where you found me when you put your arms around me  
i haven't been there for the longest time]

[billy joel]

[shoutouts!]

**Queen Kez The Wicked** ][ I don't know! Why _is _it so easy to picture Mush gay? Maybe because he's a flaming cutie. I luffle you dearly, oh dearheart of mine. And I owe you a review. salutes Next stop.

**The Second Batgirl** ][ Of course Mush chose Blink over Jai. First of all, I'm not allowed to really write about real people on ffn, just characters. Second of all, it would be a birthday present to myself if I had a story of Mush/Jai, not one for B. And I adore you too!

**Studentnumber24601** ][ LOOK! I UPDATED! Woo I win! XD hahaha. Happy birthday way late, hun!

**Aura** ][ Thank you! Mush would be so cute as Angel. Ahahaha I'm such a Rent fangirl.

**Ershey** ][ Awww, and I think that you're just the cutest thing ever! :D Thanks for reading, sweetie!

**Geometrygal** ][ AHHH I HAVE MISSED YOU! :D I'm so glad you read. And chapter 9 of ABT, thanks for that too since I don't know WHEN I'll get around to chapter 10 and chapter 9's shoutouts.

**Pyromaniacal Llama** ][ You're welcome. Likewise, thanks for reading. XD


	3. 26435

[chapter three: 2-6-4-3-5]

[chapter written: july 20, 2004]

                        One of the best things about New York City is that sometimes, you can't tell how nice someone's apartment will be _just_ by the location. When Mush gave our next taxi driver his address, I was fairly certain that it wasn't a pretty area of town, and this gave me hope, since my own apartment is quite a hellhole.

                        However, when we climbed out of the cab, we stood in front of a shining building which, at least from the outside, did not appear to be the kind of place where one worried about cockroaches. In my building, the cockroaches have names and get cranky if you don't take them on walks once a week.

                        "Hey, Vinny," Mush said to the doorman, who was large and Italian and was someone that I personally would never mess with.

                        "Good afternoon, Mr. Meyers," Vinny answered.

                        Mush tugged me forward. "This is Trey, and he'll be over often to see me. He always has my permission to come up, even if I'm out for a few minutes."

                        Vinny eyed me for a moment, then bowed stiffly and nodded. "Of course, Mr. Meyers." He opened the door for us.

                        "They're so stingy around here," Mush whispered to me, after we were safely in the elevator. "If my apartment weren't so goddamn pretty, I would move in a heartbeat."

                        "Okay, see, what you call, 'stingy,' we in my neighborhood call, 'security to be admired and wished for'," I teased him. The elevator opened on the third floor, and Mush and I stepped out onto plush carpet. "Good _God_, how much _is_ your rent?"

                        Mush smiled cutely. "I'll never tell," he answered in a singsong tone. He stopped in front of his apartment door, which had a keypad where a normal keyhole would be. "It's 2-6-4-3-5," he told me. "Guess why."

                        I had the answer ready. "A-N-G-E-L," I answered breathlessly, knowing the line from _Rent_ immediately. "C'mon, what measly _Rent_ fan do you think I am?"

                        He grinned. "There's a deadbolt inside too, but I never lock it with that when leaving. I figure if anyone is a great enough thug to get past Vinny, or Matt, who's the night watchman, and he can figure out my code, my stuff belongs to him anyway. So, now you can get into my apartment whenever you choose. Just don't put this information on the Internet or anything, or I'd be forced to end this relationship." His eyes twinkled.

                        "Relationship?" I asked coyly, flattening myself over the keypad before he could type in his code. "One kiss is required to gain entrance to your room."

                        "Relationship," he answered first, firmly. "And gladly." He leaned forward and kissed me gently, reducing my knees to cinders and instantly kindling the desire inside of me. His hands played with my hair, twisting my strands to his fancy, while my fingers rested lightly on his hips, beautiful hips.

                        "Ahem," came a loud sound from behind us. _Ahem_."

                        Mush broke away, though I wished he wouldn't, and stared behind him. "Oh, hi, Mr. Johnson. Lovely afternoon, isn't it?" He rolled his eyes as he turned back to me, clearly indicating his disinterest in this distraction.

                        "Young man, this is a _nice_ building," the man, who appeared to be about sixty, said with determination. "Your particular sense of _decorum_ is best appreciated behind your closed door, if you don't mind."

                        Mush snickered to himself. "Like he isn't a bigger fag than I am," he whispered to me. Then he turned back to Mr. Johnson. "Right away, sir. I only thank you for your telling me now, before I did something inane and unappreciated like humping my friend here on the hallway floor."

                        Mr. Johnson made a horrible sound in the back of his throat, and walked down the hall. Mush rolled his eyes and pushed 2-6-4-3-5 on his keypad, which resulted in the sound of a sliding lock within. The two of us headed inside, where I could only gasp.

                        "It's _beautiful_ in here," I whispered. Neutral colors with dashes of pastels greeted me, in a large apartment that seemed almost illegal to only belong to one person.

                        "Thanks," he answered. "I hired Thom to design it for me."

                        I thought for a minute. "You mean Thom from _Queer Eye_?"

                        "Yeah," he answered. "You know, being Angel kinda makes you friends with every other Angel. Jai totally got me the hookup."

                        "I want to live your life," I said enviously. "Friends with the most famous gays since Ellen and Elton? Amazing. Money to spend frivolously? Fabulous. This _incredible_ apartment, all to yourself?" I was about to go on, but he crossed to me and pushed a finger against my lips.

                        "Don't," he said. "Don't ever envy someone else. What you have is wonderful too, I'm sure; you just don't know it."

                        I could only laugh. "Mush, I have a roommate. Named Lloyd. Who actually owns a collection of stuffed llamas."

                        He could only blink at me. "Oh, dear," he said, then burst into giggles. "I'm sure he's a nice fellow, at least."

                        "If by 'nice,' you mean 'inane idiot,' then you hit the nail on the head," I answered, stretching my body out on his beautiful sofa. "Oh, this feels awesome," I moaned. "I never realize just how achey my muscles are until about a few hours after an audition."

                        "Sit up, massage time," Mush answered. "I sincerely hope that you're as good, if not better, than I am at these. Because I get the feeling we'll be doing this a lot during the show."

                        "My first unofficial class that I took at Denton's was massaging," I laughed, then grimaced as his kneeding, probing fingers loosened a stubborn knot in my left calf. "Oh, God, that feels amazing," I groaned, lying back on the cushions again as he started in on my right leg.

                        Over the next hour, I was treated to the best massage of my life, and through an incredible conversation, learned that Mush and I had many more things in common than I could ever remember having with any other person, ever. We had both come out of the closet when we were thirteen, we both loved Thai food and thought tattoos and pierced tongues were sexy, but were both too chicken to get either. _Rent_ was our favorite show, and we both had unhealthy obsessions with retro Billy Joel and Reel Big Fish. We both cried at _Homeward Bound_ and _Dirty Dancing_, and we shared red as our favorite color. Our fathers had the same first name, and we both hated the relationship we had had with them. We each had an older sister that we had always been closest to in our families, and the name of his sister was the name of my best friend in high school, while my sister's name was the same as his mother's. And, of course, like any self-respecting young men, we had both fallen in love with our therapists.

                        "So, I think that was the first time I knew I was gay," Mush laughed, grinning in nostalgia as he played with my hair, my head resting in his lap. "Mr. Beamer said he'd seen the signs forever, but wanted me to come to the conclusion. That night, I told my parents I was gay. They never let me go back to my therapist again."

                        "My therapist was hired for me in hopes to 'get the gay out,' or something of the like," I giggled. "I was fourteen. All it really did, however, was give me a concrete person to think about while masturbating, instead of, like, Joey Lawrence."

                        "I completely was into him, too!" Mush said in delight. "For some weird reason, I also had a huge crush on..."

                        "Greg Brady," we said at the same time. We both stared at each other before cracking up. "The later episodes?" I added.

                        He was laughing so hard he was nearly crying by this point. "In syndicated reruns."

                        "Lay down with me," I coaxed.

                        He frowned. "This is an awfully narrow sofa, Blink."

                        I caught his hand in mine, halting the braid he was twisting a lock of my hair into. "I promise I won't let you fall," I told him, kissing his fingers one by one.

                        That seemed to convince him. He stretched out with me, with him on his side with his back to the cushions, and me facing him with my back to the rest of the room. "You're so beautiful," I told him, meaning every word. "You astounded me as Angel, but you're even more gorgeous as you."

                        A smile creased his face, and he leaned closer. "That's the best compliment I've ever received. Seriously."

                        "I mean it," I whispered, staring into his intoxicating eyes. Beautiful, large and chocolate, and so filled with expression. My hands reached into his curls on their own accord, and our lips crushed together with an intensity that I thought would forever remain unmatched. His hands traced my face, then trailed down my stomach, causing me to quiver slightly wherever his fingers burned. They stopped at my waistband and hooked themselves there, hanging eternally on the brink of obscurity and forever.

                        And then, the theme song from _Fraggle Rock_ began playing.

                        "Shit, my phone," I murmured, tearing myself reluctantly away in order to make the cell phone's electronic song stop. I checked the caller ID. "Goddammit, it's Lloyd."

                        "Your llama-loving roommate?"

                        I grimaced. "I wonder if it's actually important, or if I can let it go."

                        "You can answer it," Mush answered, propping himself up on his elbow. "I'm not going anywhere, you know."

                        Annoyed as all else with Lloyd's poor timing, but in complete adoration of how adorable Mush was, I flipped the phone open. "Hey, Lloyd."

                        "Hi, Trey!"

                        Making a face at Mush, I ran a hand through my hair. "What's up?"

                        He sounded completely frivolous. "I was just wondering where you are. We usually go out for pizza after you get cut from auditions."

                        His lack of charm annoyed me. "Gee, thanks. Actually, I got a part this time."

                        "No shit!" He sounded impressed. "Then we should do something even better. We could go out for... pizza with two toppings."

                        I felt like pounding my head into a wall. I consoled myself with flopping back against Mush's stomach, and he began running his hands teasingly up and down my back. It made it quite hard to concentrate on Lloyd. "Actually, I'm hanging out with ..." I turned and looked at Mush's face, and he winked at me. "My boyfriend," I finished.

                        Mush sat up behind me and kissed the back of my neck.

                        "Your _what_?" Lloyd asked. "I thought you were single. Ever since Ryan dumped you. Shit, that was horrible, wasn't it? Remember how you sat around for weeks, moping and watching _Pretty Woman_ while eating Ben & Jerry's?"

                        Trying hard not to moan in delight at Mush's doings, I fought to keep my voice normal as Lloyd kept babbling about my dark moments. "I'll fill you in later, okay? Now, I've gotta go."

                        "Can I call your mom and tell her you got a role?"

                        "Yeah, yeah, sure. Call my sister too, if you want, and my whole goddamned extended family," I said, eager to get off the phone. "I just really, really gotta go."

                        "Ooh, am I interrupting a little pillow talk session? A little this 'n' that? Screwing? Fucking?"

                        I wanted to scream. "'Bye, Lloyd," I said in a singsong voice. "Have a nice evening."

                        "He sounds like fun," Mush said teasingly, now sitting with his legs on either side of mine. He began to massage my back again, forcing out my tension, this time accompanying his soothing action with exciting kisses, pressed to my neck. "This would be easier with your shirt off," he said, cutting straight to the chase. I helped him get it off, accompanied by the wifebeater that I had worn to the audition. From that point on, the massage was nothing more than pure inhalation of the senses, as he laid kisses along my spine and upon my shoulder blades. I kept my own hands busy by running them up and down his muscular thighs. He was undoubtedly one of the most godlike specimens alive on the Broadway stage.

                        As much as I enjoyed the massages, and as good as he was at giving them, the need for my mouth to meet his overwhelmed the pleasure of just sitting there, and I was forced to turn around, kneeling on the floor now, and fit my mouth to his hastily. He was momentarily taken aback, then relaxed into the kiss. I unbuttoned his lavender blazer and he shrugged it off, and I was treated to the sight of his bare chest, with only his ascot upon his skin. I unknotted it with precision, then threw it onto a nearby chair.

                        As the lights of the city started to turn on, countering the faltering of the sun, I explored Mush's chiseled chest with my tongue and kisses, and he wrapped his legs around my torso and locked me there, as if afraid I would leave. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him again, and again and again. His kisses were unlike anything I had ever encountered before.

                        I finally looked at the clock, and realized that I had been at Mush's place for hours upon hours. "I need to get back home," I whispered, halting his hands, which were writing indistinguishable letters upon my back.

                        "Do you really?" he said, sighing a little disappointedly. "How far do you live?"

                        I laughed. "About five subway stops that way," I answered, pointing north.

                        He scrutinized me. "Are you taking a taxi?"

                        "I can't afford that," I answered, giggling. "Subway for me. Hence the whole saying of, 'five subway stops that way.'"

                        "Well then, I'm coming with you," he answered. "It's too dangerous for such a beautiful boy as yourself to go on the subway so late at night."

                        I waved him off. "I'm a big boy," I answered. "Thank you for the offer, though." I stood up and looked around for my shirt, but could only find the wifebeater. "Let me know if you find my shirt, will ya?"

                        "Is this really goodnight?" he asked softly, standing too, watching me pull on my white wifebeater.

                        "I think so," I answered. "For tonight, anyway."

                        He grabbed my phone and punched some numbers in it. "Call me once you're off the subway," he told me. "So I don't worry all night about you."

                        I took my phone from him and slid it back into my pocket, then leaned in to capture his lips again. "Thank you, for everything," I breathed.

                        "Why?" he whispered back, kissing me slowly. "You're the one who's making all of _my_ dreams come true."

                        Though I didn't want to, I ducked out of his room before I ended up staying the night. When I got to the elevator, I let out a huge breath of air, clinging to its mirrored walls. I seemed to be in big trouble in regards to this one.

                        It did not seem possible for me to escape this time unscathed.

                        But, for the first time in any of my relationships, I did not feel the need to escape.

[i'm that voice you're hearing in the hall  
and the greatest miracle of all  
is how i need you and you needed me, too  
that hasn't happened for the longest time]

[billy joel]

[shoutouts!]

**Queen Kez The Wicked** ][ crayon!mush: cheers and eats half the box in one gulp Now, see what you did. I just took him to the dentist to clean off the last stains. Goodness. And for the record, there never was happiness in "Will I?" to change into sadness. So, um, yeah. So there. Aww Kezala, you are totally the bestest. huggles you!

**The Second Batgirl** ][ Smut-free. This is quite a PG-13 story. I learned my lesson with _Pretend_... angry! LOL. Sorry, m'dear. But if you persuade me, I might write the smut for you faster. Sigh. The things I do for you, sweetie, the things I do for you. ;)

**V-channy-chan** ][ Awww! You are such fun. And Blush all the time... dreamy look crosses face Dude, you should patent that idea. And then enforce it. I hereby call you police of FFN... gives you a badge!

**Aura** ][ I met Jai after I saw him as Angel, too. And I just talked to his manager on the phone last night. (HOLY SHIT THAT IS SO WEIRD TO SAY... OO) Uhh, so I lead a kinda weird life... and believe me honey, no one in this world loves Jai as much as I do (you can ask around, it's general knowledge). It's in homage to the wonderful B that I had Mush choose Blink over Jai. Because seriously, can you IMAGINE Aaron/Jai?! happy imagining! Oh yes, and Mush's wearing lavender in the story is a direct reference to the beautiful polo shirt Jai wore after the show. Hehe!

**TheBetterKP** ][ awww! gives you cookies and such Thank you so much, hun! I'm glad you enjoy the story so much. XD

**DreamlessMermaid** ][ I'm really glad that my story is getting you to read slash. big smile! (I'm currently in a huuuge battle with a jackass at work who's a real homophobe, and it drives me CRAZY) And thanks for reading through my old stuff too, though most of it completely isn't worth reading, haha! Glad to have you on board with me. :)

**geometrygal** ][ coffee=gross. Lavender on boys=yummy. That's basically the entire basis of this story. Ahahaha! Yes, you would never guess that I waitress from reading this story, eh? Eh? I'm so subtle in my demanding that people tip better... whistles innocently I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE READING THIS AS YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE REVIEWERS EVER. Goodness. Glad I got that off my chest... ;) Huggles and snuggles, darling!

**misprint** ][ There is no review such as a Misi review. Good lord, you're totally like the coolest person I know. And did I mention that Jai wore lavender when I met him? Hence, I shall forever be putting newsies and random characters in lavender shirts at every opportune moment. And and and... you need to like kick my ass and make me post my reviews for Bloodflame. They're totally typed up on my comp. I'm just a lazy-ass. I lose at life sometimes... XD Hahaha Love ya!!

[enjoy it while it's going on, kids... the next chapter is THE LAST. DUN DUN DUN]


	4. forever

[chapter four: forever]

[chapter written: july 21, 2004]

                        Months had passed. The show had opened, to great success. It was both critically acclaimed and beloved by audiences. Mush and I had become inseparable, both of us more serious about each other than I had ever been with any of my past boyfriends.

                        We were back in Mush's living room, with his favorite mix CD playing. "This song always reminds me of you," he said, as we slow-danced together. We really made quite a sight; two young men, shirtless, twirling together in a ritzy New York City apartment. He began singing to me while I grinned at his gorgeous voice. "Whenever I'm weary from the battles that rage in my head, you make sense of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread. I lose my way, but still you seem to understand."

                        I joined in. "Now and forever, I will be your man." He laid his head against my bare chest as we continued singing to each other. "Sometimes I just hold you, too caught up in you to see: I'm holding a fortune that heaven has given to me. I'll try to show you each and every way I can; now and forever, I will be your man." Turning slowly to the beat, I smiled down at the familiar sight of his curls, loving the rumble of his voice against my chest. "Now I can rest my worries and always be sure that I won't be alone anymore. If I'd only known you were here all the time, all this time..." In the musical interlude, I stole a kiss from him. "Until the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand, now and forever, I will be your man," he sang, looking into my eyes. I finished the song. "Now and forever, I will be your man," I promised him, then leaned in for another kiss. We were still revolving on the spot, and in that moment, I felt closer to him than ever before. I made a mental note to thank God that Richard Marx had recorded "Now And Forever."

                        The room's only lighting, from dozens of candles, flickered across our bodies, catching in Mush's eyes and making them prisms of beautiful light. "I love you so much," he whispered.

                        I looked deep into his eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. We had made a promise to each other, back in the beginning of our relationship, that we would never say those words without absolutely meaning them. Therefore, though I had felt happiness and security and trust when around him, and I assumed he felt the same about me, we had never uttered the words. They had never crossed our lips after a full night of making out, or after a particularly good performance in that night's show. We had both had relationships that had thrown the word around mindlessly, and we believed that those three words were too sacred for that.

                        I kissed his cheek. "I love you, too. With all my heart."

                        That beautiful grin creased his face, and his arm tightened around my torso, our two clasped hands were squeezed together even more than before. "Kiss me," he whispered. I obliged, tasting the now-familiar mix of coffee and Luden's cherry throat lozenges that embodied Mush to me.

                        He was still grinning when the kiss finally broke, and I could feel a similar one refusing to be vanquished from my own face. "I just found out tonight that I've never been in love with anyone else before," he whispered to me. "Because I have never, ever felt this happy or relieved or beautiful before."

                        "You've always been beautiful," I chastised, though I knew exactly what he meant; my eyes remained locked on his. "The most beautiful man I have ever seen, in fact."

                        He ducked his head slightly. "If you believe that, then you aren't giving yourself enough credit, as you are much more of a beauty than I could ever hope to be," he answered.

                        "We should really just call a stalemate on this argument," I said with a bit of a laugh. "We only get into this at least twice a night."

                        He answered by tugging me into the bedroom and pushing me onto the bed. He climbed on top of me practically before I had time to realize what was going on, and kissed my lips firmly.

                        After a few minutes, he hovered above my face, his silhouette marked only by the street lamps outside his window. "I love you," he said, as if tasting the words again to make sure they hadn't gone sour in the few minutes since they'd last been spoken.

                        I leaned up, clasping my hands on the back of his neck, and pulling his face back down to mine. "I love you too," I told him, caressing and massaging his neck. "Now and forever."

                        His familiar weight on me was comforting, and we kissed for a little while longer before falling asleep in each other's arms.

][

                        The next morning, I went down the street and bought Mush a bouquet of red roses. By the time that night's performance was over, the blossoms had opened beautifully, and I knocked lightly on his dressing room door moments after I had redressed in street clothes.

                        When he opened the door, he was holding a matching bouquet of crimson roses. We laughed at each other, exchanging them, as well as a sweet kiss that developed into a slightly more serious kiss. When Bumlets, who had indeed made the line, saw this while walking by us, he let loose with a loud catcall that forced Mush and I to go into his dressing room and lock the door behind us.

                        "You were spectacular tonight," he told me.

                        I laughed. "Yeah, right. I couldn't even pretend to be into that girl that I'm supposed to be married to, especially not when you were onstage with me." Wanting to be the first to say the words this time, I added, "I love you."

                        He grinned again. "God, it was so hard to act like I was sad in scene four," he said. "All I wanted to do was stop the production and announce to the audience that I was in love. ...Is that a normal reaction?"

                        I didn't answer, just kissed him again. Our bouquets of roses were sitting side-by-side, and utterly forgotten, on his dressing-room table.

                        "You know, we gotta go say hi to the fans," he suddenly remembered, after another ten minutes. "Shit, I'm still in my costume."

                        I teasingly pulled his shirt off, then followed it with his pants. "Let me dress you," I said. With as much precision as possible, I dressed him in a light blue collared shirt, and a pair of tight khakis. They were my favorite pants of his, because they completely enhanced his ass.

                        His eyes were clouded with lust when I finished buttoning his fly. "You are so unfairly hot," he moaned, as I laughed and unlocked his dressing room door.

                        "Our flowers," I reminded him, picking up his bouquet for me.

                        He scooped up his too. "These will brighten up the apartment." He suddenly frowned. "You know, it's so drab when you're not there."

                        I kissed his nose. "You're too adorable," I laughed. "Now, hurry up, I wanna go make out in your apartment."

                        He made a face at me. "You were never this demanding before I said I loved you," he pouted.

                        Stealing him to the side of a hallway leading to the stage door, I pressed him firmly against the wall and kissed him with every ounce of my soul.

                        He shook his head once I was done. "You're allowed to be demanding. I've decided."

                        I took his hand that wasn't clutching his roses, and we exited out the door. He was asked for more autographs than I was, but I was slowly becoming more and more recognized for my talent, too.

                        He had finally gotten around to everyone, and then he grabbed my hand again. "Goodnight, everyone," he called, waving his roses in farewell. We headed down the sidewalk, disappearing from view.

                        As we left, I heard some girl sigh, "They are the cutest couple in the world." It brought a large smile to my face.

                        When we reached his apartment, we began our furious kissing again, punctuated with making sure the other knew just how much he loved him. After about an hour, he flopped on his side. "You know, this apartment is getting awfully pricey for just little old me," he said forlornly.

                        Thinking of Lloyd, I said, "You should get a roommate, then."

                        "No shit, Sherlock," he grinned, rolling his eyes. "So whaddya say?"

                        "Me?" I squeaked. He erupted into laughter at my pubescent squeal. "You want me to... move in?

                        He grinned. "Blink, you stay here almost every night _anyway_. C'mon, I know you love this apartment. Not to mention me," he added as an afterthought. "And I love you, and I hate it on those nights when you _do_ go home. It's too lonely here. I miss your warmth, your kisses."

                        I grinned. "You really want me?"

                        "I've wanted you for the longest time," he answered, kissing me deeply. "Whaddya say?"

                        "Promise you won't start collecting stuffed llamas?" I countered, only half joking.

                        "Scout's honor," he whispered, his thumb tracing my facial features. I kissed it when it reached my mouth.

                        "Not only will I live with you, but I'll never leave you," I said, my hands tangling in those fantastic curls of his. "I fear you're stuck with me forever, Mush."

                        "Forever's not long enough to love you fully the way you deserve," he told me. "But I'll sure as hell try."

                        As we kissed again, I knew he was telling the truth. What had started out a sweet little crush on a celebrity had resulted in my finding my soulmate. I had never been so happy in my life.

[i'll take my chances, i forgot how nice romance is  
i haven't been there for the longest time]

[billy joel]

[**the end!**]

[shoutouts!

**The Second Batgirl** ][ I take it back... ::worrisome blink for her own sanity:: Uhh, no smut... uhh... XD I'm glad I finished something too! Thanks for reading, hun, and sticking with my story! huggles!

**Dreamless-Mermaid** ][ Haha, innocent!slash is the cutest slash. Hehe! There are actually a lot of stories with the same amount of slash as what I have in mine, especially since FFN isn't into the whole NC-17 thing. ;) LOL! Hehe, thanks for being such a faithful reader, you're rocking my socks off. :)

**geometrygal** ][ I met Jai after the evening performance on July 10, 2004... haha, two weeks ago Saturday. It was beautiful. (Do you have lj, m'dear? If so, friend me, I'm irontears) Now I feel sorrow thinking that I may never see Jai in the role again, but it makes me SO HAPPY that I actually got to see it once. Aww, hahaha. Yes, cute little bitchy Specs has been perfected, I believe. He's too cute, haha. Aww, you just made me miss abt!specs a LOT. ::pout!:: Ya know, I'm not sure where the llamas came from, other than the fact that llamas has double-l's, like Lloyd does. ::shrug:: And seriously, who wouldn't love a little massaging!mush action?! I always cry at _Homeward Bound_. It doesn't matter how many times I've seen it, and the fact that I know that Shadow comes home... there's always that minute when you're just not sure that he'll make it this time! And WOW do I love _Dirty Dancing_. Don't let TSB hear you praising Havana Nights though, she hated it. LOL! I think Bobby's the youngest Brady, so you liked Peter? Maybe? Haha, I'm not up on my Bradys like I should be... YAY FOR BMW! Did you hear the first season is coming out on DVD soon?? I say YAY TO THAT! I totally grew up on that show... The _Fraggle Rock_ theme ringtone is from my brother, as it's his ringtone right now. Hahaha! ::more huggles and snuggles to geom, and joins in the humming of "Time Of My Life"!!:: Loves, darling!

**ershey** ][ Aww! You are too ubercute. And of course Blink knows that 2-6-4-3-5 is A-N-G-E-L, because otherwise I would hurt him. And poor Lloyd... he is now sans roomie. Hahaha! And thank you for reading, mmm-kay? ...yaysouthparkokayshuttingupnow.

**Queen Kez The Wicked** ][ Just wait, Kez, last night I wrote a one-shot in which I killed off two people within one and a half pages. Bwahaha. I felt too pure after this damn story, so I had to kill SOMEONE. You know me. You can be Lloyd's new roomie if you like. hands you your FLUFF FOR ALL on a silver platter See, I can do it! I can leave everyone happy! ::wins!:: Thank you for reading, my little Keeze darling, you make me so happy.

**Aura** ][ Yes, I want that combo lock. Sigh. Dude, I have three guys lined up who are willing to move to NYC with me for a few months so that we can meet the Fab 5. And they're actually straight. Astounding, I know! And I've loved all the other Angels I've seen, too, but no one - not even my Andy Senor - is as good as my lovely Jai. And lavender is the best color in the WORLD on him. Gah. Sex. He ::is:: sex. ...Why is this shoutout all about Jai and Rent? ::giggle::

**Twitch** ][ Love to the Blush-ness, and love to the Twitchster too! 

[**big thank you to everyone who's been reading. ]**


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